We’re taught from a young age through stories, music, and movies that if our love isn’t magical, it’s not worth having. It colours our view of romance, relationships and marriages. Magic love glosses over thickly how much work and effort it takes to maintain romance and relationships. This ideal world doesn’t exist and we feel like failures when our fairy-tale doesn’t come true.
There is a disconnect between reality and day-dreams, and I know I for one, have a hard time reconciling between my expectations (thank you, country music and Disney) and what real humans can offer in love. Like many single people, I have a list of qualities I want in a relationship. There are standard, common-sense type qualities but there are others, much more specific and unique. I want my partner to not only treat me with respect but I want them to share my love of adventure and large dogs. I want to build my relationship with road trips and picnics but also rainy days and tea, with trust and respect but also a good debate once in a while. I want to make my partner feel wanted, loved, included and special and I want him to do the same with me.
I know that having a relationship is sometimes unfulfilling, leaving one feel lonely and neglected. I know having a relationship doesn’t magically make you whole, or shouldn’t, at any rate. A relationship should be the icing to your cake, to quote a good friend of mine. I understand a relationship takes time, dedication, passion, respect and a willingness to put each other as a priority. Honestly, I think a relationship should enhance your quality of life, not dictate it.
That’s what I want and that’s what I’m seeking. A partner in crime, a steady hand to hold, someone to laugh with until our sides ache, a travel companion, a second opinion, someone to admire and trust; all this plus romance. I want the mess, entanglements, baggage, love, adventure, experiences and kisses at the start and end of my days. I want to be all these and more for someone (thank you, country music and Disney). But I need to find a way to toe the lines between reality and castles in the sky without losing any of my spirit, or diminishing the love I have to give. How that is going to work out raises a lot of questions but I think I’m starting something good. Hopefully it works out so we’re both happy, whatever that happiness looks like.