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Navel-Gazing.

I had a sit-down with myself near the end of 2011.

I’m 24, nearly 25. I don’t have any crazy stories to tell. I have tame stories about camps and friends being silly. But nothing Crazy. I want to laugh myself silly when I think about my 20s in 20+ years.

So. I told myself I need to adopt a new attitude. And change the way I think about things.

Things I’ve never really believed about myself until now (And I’m still wrapping my head around it)

I’m pretty.

I’m desirable and attractive.

My body isn’t repulsive to others to look at. (No, I will never be able to wear certain styles, but I can wear others and look fantastic.)

Things I’m working on changing

My attitude towards others.
I need to be more accepting of other people. I have high standards of how I expect other people to act, which isn’t fair most of the time.
At least I can recognize when I’ve my standards too high, which is a starting point. From here, I can work on becoming more flexible. Camp Coyote has been a good kick-start with this too – I need help from anyone who is willing to offer it, regardless if they’re in my circle of friends or not.

My online presence
I tweet a lot. And it’s not always (read: almost never) anything that really needs to be broadcast to the internet. Someone tweeted a link to a great article, and since reading it, and taking parts of it really to heart, I have tried to not tweet unless it is something I really must say. (Though I will @ reply as normal, working towards better usage of that, too. Somehow.)
I have already cut back on my facebooking. I creep around on it, and will leave it open in the background while I’m doing other things online, but I have cut my posts to once or maybe twice a day. And I try to make those posts be something I think others will be interested in reading, or a message I am interested in spreading to a wider audience.

Being out there more
I don’t know how many weekends I have spent at home, by myself being bored and lonely and lamenting that state. This happens a lot. Unless I’m camping, I’m usually at home being bored, or watching bad movies.
So, if I want to get out and enjoy life more, I have to make my fun. ‘Cause it sure ain’t knocking on my door (yet).
New Years Eve was a perfect opportunity to not stay at home and be lonely and alone and drunk by myself. The idea is to spend as little time as possible at home, being alone and watching bad movies on weekend this year. More camping, more hiking, more friends, more social, more of everything I want to do but have held back doing.

Outward appearance
More a subtle one – I got highlights which no one has noticed (Except my Mum. And Michelle had to look very closely), and bought some fabulous rep lipstick which I have been wearing often. For a long time, I have admired the look of other girls – layers and scarves and funky necklaces and awesome makeup and the list goes on. My style has long been one of “Plain shirts, jeans, camp clothing.” I started wearing heels more (Once you invest in a good pair, you never want to wear cheap heels again!), wearing things I wouldn’t normally wear (like legging-pants. Thick like pants, but tight like leggings), and dressing up a little more in my day-to-day. The logic is “Look good, feel good.” I’ve noticed a bit of a change, and it’s been a Positive Change! Huzzah!

Read the news!
Oh, Lord. I am so ignorant of anything and everything that’s happening in the world. It’s BAD.

So, there is my tl;dr post.

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