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Ranting and Raving

I’m a chick.  I’ve got boobs and a vadge.

I like them.  I wouldn’t give them up for a dick any day.

I don’t intentionally use my sex and sexuality for personal gain.  I’ve never gone to profs or job interviews wearing suggestive clothing or flirted to get a job or a grade.

And I will never do those things.  Those only pander to the gender ideas/ideals/stereotypes imposed upon me as a woman.  Plus, my skills and abilities run deep and are numerous.

I might have to call my man to help me figure out the quick release mechanism on my new bike-lock, but I figured out how to tighten the bike seat and already had the screw-drivers needed to install the bracket on the bike.
I know how to change my oil, spark plugs, do a rad flush and change a tire all by myself.  I can assemble my ikea bed in an hour or less, by myself.  I can drive stick.  I can toss a motherloving haybale up to the trailer.  I can chop/stack firewood and split a months worth of kindling in 15 minutes.

These are things men are “expected” to do.  These are things my brother can do and does regularly.  Ditto with Dad, who taught us both how to use an axe, a knife, how to fix our cars and figure out what was wrong with it, even if we can’t fix it by ourselves.

Maybe me growing up in a rural area makes me a sort of anomaly in today’s society, being able to confidently enter into the men’s sphere of tasks with a pair of tits.

I saw an ad recently that was, to me, wholly disgusting.  It’s an Australian ad, and I’ve been informed that they have a “dry humour” over there. But it’s still gross.  http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2011/03/14/over-the-top-sexist-australian-real-estate-ad/

It’s so blatantly sexist, it feels like the whole of Australian men should be apologising to every woman they see about it.  Hah, men apologising.  What sort of fantasy land am I in? (I must still be in Wonderland from last weekend!)

My friends and I had a HUGE debate over it.
I will admit that the one personal attack I made was made during a moment of frustration, in a desperate attempt to get him to see anything other than his own opinion.

After the argument ended/we all ran out of steam, I went to read another blog. And found these gems:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rahna-reiko-rizzuto/the-gender-gap-in-motherh_b_837403.html

http://www.salon.com/life/real_families/index.html?story=/mwt/feature/2011/02/28/leaving_my_children

About how society treats a women who left her family, but is still really involved in her children’s life.  Full-time fathers are “saints”, and full-time mothers are “normal”.
How is this fair?  Yes, for centuries women were the primary child-care providers.  So really, we can’t expect men to be all over being a full-time caregiver in today’s society.  We’re still dealing with gender ideals, stereotypes and “gender norms”.  But why must we exalt men for having an active role in parenting?  Whoo, a dude’s bein’  a daddy, better throw a freakin’ parade.

As someone who does not want children in the forseeable future and will probably adopt/foster care children  instead of spawning any podlings myself, this only reinforces my stance.  I don’t, and haven’t really ever, wanted to be a mother.  I wasn’t that great at babysitting.  I don’t have a lot of patience for my friends’ kids, though I try very, VERY hard for their sake.  They wanted kids early, or had them early at any rate.  Which is fine for them.  I, personally, don’t agree, having had the experiences I’ve had, and knowing what I still want to do, and how hard it could be to do what I want to with a podling.  Also, my mum had her kids young, and I think she resented/resents it, to a point.

Also,

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2011/03/16/the-body-as-cultural-text/

Women are only allowed to be as strong as men let them be.  Sex is used to sell again and again.

I really want to see a change in advertising.  I would LOVE to see less gender stereotypes, racial stereotypes and less sex in my daily life.  Now, not to mean that I don’t like sex.  I just don’t want to be continually bombarded with sex and sexuality and women in various states of undress all day, every day.  If I wanted to see a pair of tits, I’d look down.  If I want to feel bad about my body, I look at a Cosmo.  Or a haute couture advert.  Or watch me some America’s Next Top Model, which I am Addicted to.  (Shut up. I love it.)

I would love to say that in today’s modern, liberated, liberal society, these have become non-issues.  But this may never be the case.  Women are just as capable as men in like, everything.  PLUS we spawn podling-monsters the size of a smallish watermelon from an orifice that is decidedly NOT the size of a smallish watermelon.
And March 8th was International Women’s Day. I wish I had the article that this one responds to, I’m sure it’s found easily enough, but I am currently multi-tasking while writing this post.

http://shamelessmag.com/blog/2011/03/why-international-womens-day-matters/

The comments are worth reading too.

Sexism is discrimination. I don’t care if you find a definition that speaks otherwise.  If you use a person’s sex or gender against them, to portray a stereotype, to bully or belittle them, you are discriminating against the person.

Women are still not seen as equals to men.  We’re paid less in many job circumstances (I’ve only had a few jobs, which were unions meaning equal pay for the position, where I was paid the same for the same work as my male counterparts.  Even when I had more experience in the job/worked for the company much longer), we’re expected to be mothers, work outside the home, make dinner, do the laundry and generally keep the house clean.  All while looking pretty and slim.  The 1950s housewife ideal has not gone away, it has only shifted in its expectations.

I don’t hate men.  I don’t have a hate on for women who submit to the gender roles/stereotypes or whatever pressures are placed upon them by general society.  I simply want more equality and respect across the board.  And not just in white/Western/North American cultures, too.  Why are people so very against the idea that having tits or a dick makes you superior or inferior?  And for people who quote the bible at me, Do Not Bother.  I will not go into my religious views here.  Though, I will say that I think the bible is a collection of stories and myths, not true facts.  I wish men would see how objectifying women day after day after day isn’t cool.  I wish advertisers would be more creative in their marketing.  I wish people treated each other with respect and that more people would try to see both sides of an argument or at least educate themselves in a less biased manner when discussing issues.

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5 responses »

  1. I really like the way you wrote this, and I actually agree with the points you made. Equality is the only way that men and women can have meaningful relationships between each other.

    Reply
  2. “But why must we exhalt men for having an active role in parenting?”

    How about because they’re BREAKING the norm, that you’ve so pointed out has been in place for centuries? People of today cannot be held responsible for actions of our ancestors.

    “If I want to feel bad about my body, I look at a Cosmo. Or a haute couture advert. Or watch me some America’s Next Top Model, which I am Addicted to.”

    You want to talk about selling sex? How about those two? I DON’T watch America’s top model, but how many of the contestants in the show are male? If not, why not?

    Reply
    • BFD, you’re being a Daddy. This doesn’t mean you should be considered a saint. And I’m fully aware of how much sexualised marketing is in Cosmo. That’s the primary reason why I don’t read it.

      ANTM doesn’t use males because the show is looking for female models. There was, at some point, a show about co-ed modeeling and ANTM has had a transgender contestant in a previous season.

      Reply
      • And who exalts men for being parents anyways? Certainly no one that I know. Sometimes I even get made fun of. Guess what, I’m breaking the ‘norm’, as per the ‘standard’ for the last million years. Why is it that the men have typically NOT been the parents? Because up until the last 50 years, men WERE dominant. For the most part, men ARE physically stronger beings. They were the ones fighting wars. They were the ones doing the dangerous work. They were the ones hunting and gathering and risking getting ripped apart by wild animals. It will change, absolutely. It may not happen in OUR life times though, or even in our (correction, my, since you’ve made your views on children so clearly obvious) children’s lifetime.

        ANTM is only looking for female models. Why? Oh right, so they can go forth and sell sex on behalf of companies.

      • Why do I feel attacked for not wanting children? Believe it or not, there are women who do not want children or do not feel the maternal instincts other women have. This is another stigma, unnecessarly placed on women. Men to a lesser extent if they do not wish to have children. I don’t know anyone personally who exalts engaged dads, I was referring to the article about it in the post. (The one about the mother who chose to take a different role in her childrens lives.) I can see how society/media/general public would take the “Hero Dad” and “Evil Villian Mother” stance though.

        Men used that brute strength to dominate over women, does it make it right? As you said, we can’t argue over what our ancestors did, but we can change how we interact in the world. Thinking critically, choosing, whenever possible, to avoid sexist marketing or discrimination are steps anyone can make, and I encourage everyone to make these active parts of their lives.

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