One of my biggest frustrations with myself is that I am not active.
Years ago, in high school, it was SO damn easy to be active. Gym class was mandated until grade 10. I also played rugby and was on the wrestling team. Between the HARDCORE workouts in wrestling and the mass amounts of cardio in Rugby (I ran up and down the field a lot as a blind-side winger) I was a skinny thing. Never realised it until I found some pictures from grade 11 new years a while ago with Courteney.
Also, my friends were still more shapely and thin, so I felt like a fatty anyway.
(I love my friends, and my besties Em and Court were model-worthy from like, grade 10 onwards. It ain’t fair.)
Then, of course, I graduated. And stopped running laps around a field or doing 60 crunches and 40 push-ups as a warm up to the workout.
Now, I haven’t changed a whole lot size-wise. Well, maybe I have, but I didn’t really realise it. I wore a medium shirt in high school. I wear medium still, though now that I’ve got a rack (finally grew in during college), I like larges for the breathing space.
I wore size 8 pants then. I think I’m a 6 now. (These jeans say a 27, which in Gap means a 4, but gap runs a different size than everywhere else.)
As I mentioned, I did grow some in the bust area. I was a hopeful B-cup in high school. As in, I really hoped I would fill my B-cup. Now I’m spilling out of a D. (UGH) My band size has changed from a 36 to a 32/34.
So I don’t feel like I’ve changed much. I also still fit very easily into the dress I wore to Commencement.
But I’m inactive. I’m lazy. I am inherently lazy. It’s BAD. I make myself cringe with how lazy I can be.
I’m currently in a pole-dancing class, which I’ve done before, a couple years ago. It’s fun. This class is also a beginners level, but somehow more advanced than the classes I took last time. I’m getting better at pole-climbs, which means I’m getting some strength back.
(Oh yeah, I also used to be wicked strong. I had BICEPS! now, they are sad little imitations.)
But the class wraps up next week leaving this hour-long hole on my Monday nights.
But they offer another session in March! The studio also offers some other classes, like cardio and some boot camps.
and man oh, man, am I ever tempted to register myself in a boot camp.
I feel fat and lazy a lot these days. It’s not a nice feeling.
Boot camp would mean hauling my lazy, not-keen-on-mornings butt up early three times a week for six weeks. But it would probably be worth it.
It would be more a quick-fix rather than a long-term solution, I know. It could also be a great place to get a jump-start into something more long-lasting though perhaps not as intense.
I also want to start biking to school and possibly other places, too. I first need a bike. I have to look into my magical budget for that.
So, in my quest for making myself happy with me, I’ve discovered I used to like my hectic crazy, “I’m doing something all the time, every day for the next 4 months, so if you want to do anything with me, you have to book now” life. And how damn active I used to be.